Me

Well, Fathers day is Sunday. It's going to be a sad and lonely day for me. Time seems to drag on. I have been in misery for 8 months. I am changed, I don't like the new me. I don't think anyone does. I feel mad at the world. I am mad at the world. I see couples together at the store, mall anywhere and I wonder if they know how fortunate they are to have one another. That is what hurts! I did know how fortunate I was. I always thanked God every night for my life as it was. That life is gone. I don't like my new life. It is lonely and sad. I feel anger. I feel mean. I feel resentment. I know I can't live in the past but I don't like the present and I don't know how to be happy anymore. At my age, 69 you can't start over. I feel like life is over. My kids don't get it. My g/kids don't get it. I really don't expect them to. Unless you live it, you can't get it. At least on here I can vent. Nobody judges me on here. Nobody tells me how I should feel. Everyone is a individual with their own feelings. We all cope in our own way. I just pray God lets me be happy again. I want my kids and g/kids to like me again. Oh it's only my assumption that they don't. I guess because I don't like me I feel nobody does. I don't feel likable I feel like a outcast. I feel alone, lonely and sad. I won't let anyone in and share my feelings because I feel judged. I'm going to stop typing as my thoughts are jumbled and I have to get ready to go to the dentist. I hope everyone that reads this is happier then I am at this very moment. If your reading this, I wish you happiness. Linda