so.....

today is a day full of doctor apintments for the gummy in my tummy. I have my blood work for the NTS. Im a little nervouse but not really. I have lost a baby to Trisomy 18 so it ups my chances but I know that i will love any child I am blessed with. Next thursday is the big u/s! This is when I found out Ian wa a boy. I am going to try so hard not to ask and if she asks if we want  know to say no.
I have been praying or peace. This pregnancy has been so un-peacefull (is that a word?)
I have stressed over everything from teh second I got my 11 Beta. I hate worrying and want to enjoy this. It still does not feel real. I still cant beleive im pregnant. I have NO TUMMY at all. Im smaller than ever. All these people on my birth board are talking about being in maternity clothes! Im like really. Wow I would have thought I would be one of the first since there is only 16 months between pregnancies. Im smaller than I was last summer. Im sure ill start showing soon enough.
I have been praying every chance I get for so many of you. My heartbreaks for some of you and also beatwith ope for others. I love you all and am closer to you than anyother of my friends. I know we say "real life freinds" but you are my real life freinds. You are my real life support. 
Have a great monday!