rambling

I dont care how much sence i dont make, I want another baby. We have been trying for almost a year now. Yesy i have Ian and I love him and would never trade him for a million dollars. I cant control my feelings. My heart want what hit wants. I want another baby like i wanted Ian. I am on CD 22 so I POAS that says you can find out up to 6 days before your missed period. My cycle has been varying between 28-31 days. It was a BFN. I know it could be to soon. My clomid somehow got shipped to the wrong address. In NJ!!!! How whay i dont know. I am going rounds and rounds with them. We move in a few weeks I may just go to a new OBGYN and hope they give it to me. Dh wouldnt understand this desire in me. HE thinks I should be happy with Ian. I agree and wish that was teh case. I wish I didnt have this desire and need. But I do and I cant change that. I want Ian to have a sibling. My dream growing up was to be a mom and have lots of kids. I am happy and I know so so blessed to have ian. But this is the only place i cant talk about my feelings.