WHY??????

 I sit here in the darkness and wonder why. Why has my life turned out this way. Why can't I just be happy where I am and learn to be content. Why do I constantly want more. I want to have fun and be happy. I am tired of the yelling and the anger. I want to laugh and play with my kids and not worry about the fact that the house is a mess and dh will be home soon. I don't want to have to feel like I have to let my kids have fun before dh gets home and yells at them. I want to experience life and dance in the rain. dh does not like the rain and can not see why anyone would go dance in it. I want to get a canvas and go down to the beach and paint whatever I want to and not have to explain it to him. He doesn't get me.