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Can't remember how long it has been since I was here last. I was doing so well. Working my butt off with a goal and things were going so well then bam. A couple of weeks ago I discovered how stupid I had been by not realizing all my planning are hard work was not going to work out. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Now even though I regrouped and thought I had recovered and re-adjusted my plans bam shot to hell again.
Maybe it is just time to "go home". I know faith wise that is not my choice to make but will God really hold that against me and let me burn in Hell for all eternity? I just am tired of hurting so much and causing so much pain and trouble to everyone else. Just a huge anchor to my wife. The say you can't go home again so what am I trying to hard to do that for. I can't physically do what I used to be able to do and because of that I have managed to get myself in so much debt I'll likely never get out except if my life insurance pays off. I don't think there is a suicide clause in it and even so I have had it for so long it probably doesn't matter anyhow. At least my wife will not have to worry all the time about money and how she is going to pay the bills. The guy across the street killed him self and no one even tried to stop him. The cops came and pissed around for over 8 hours before anyone even entered his home !!!! I guess they just wanted to make sure he had plenty of time for the generator to definitely kill him with carbon monoxide. This country is so screwed up and the world too what the hell makes the difference we are all going to probably die soon anyhow. We have a president that has lied through his teeth over and over and over and no one seems to give a shit. They are taking all our constitutional rights away and no one is doing shit about it. I was hoping typing all of this would help but it doesn't seem to be helping at all. If no one else bids on the motor home and or the they don't go through with buying it do I have the energy and the desire to finish it and try to sell it again. I don't think I do. If I don't get the money then I might as well just hang it up. No one really cares anyhow.
Maybe it is just time to "go home". I know faith wise that is not my choice to make but will God really hold that against me and let me burn in Hell for all eternity? I just am tired of hurting so much and causing so much pain and trouble to everyone else. Just a huge anchor to my wife. The say you can't go home again so what am I trying to hard to do that for. I can't physically do what I used to be able to do and because of that I have managed to get myself in so much debt I'll likely never get out except if my life insurance pays off. I don't think there is a suicide clause in it and even so I have had it for so long it probably doesn't matter anyhow. At least my wife will not have to worry all the time about money and how she is going to pay the bills. The guy across the street killed him self and no one even tried to stop him. The cops came and pissed around for over 8 hours before anyone even entered his home !!!! I guess they just wanted to make sure he had plenty of time for the generator to definitely kill him with carbon monoxide. This country is so screwed up and the world too what the hell makes the difference we are all going to probably die soon anyhow. We have a president that has lied through his teeth over and over and over and no one seems to give a shit. They are taking all our constitutional rights away and no one is doing shit about it. I was hoping typing all of this would help but it doesn't seem to be helping at all. If no one else bids on the motor home and or the they don't go through with buying it do I have the energy and the desire to finish it and try to sell it again. I don't think I do. If I don't get the money then I might as well just hang it up. No one really cares anyhow.
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