its been a long time since I have, written in this journal. last I wrote in my journal was when I fell for a girl on here. she was like my other have that I have always been waiting for. her parents shipped her away and I lost contact with her. its broke me and half and it took me a couple years to be able to date again.
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feeling totally lost right now. I cant seem to see what\'s up form down. my mother\'s birthday is tomorrow and she is gone I cant tell her that I love her and tell her happy birthday. my girlfriend dumped me because I\'m to nice to her and that she cant wait around for the other shoe to drop. vocational school is really hard right now and it seems impossible to focus on anything. my sleep is haunt with past abused. I\'m really close to ended it