I don't have the words for what I'm feeling right now. If I died tomorrow, my nieces wouldn't know the difference. I am just an afterthought to them. I really have to accept that. I'm having a hard time letting go of them. I can't do it anymore. For yrs I've been reaching out to them. I've been tying myself in knots trying to show them that I care about them. I've trying to show them I want them in my life. But I was the only one ever reaching out. I forgave them but they didn't forgive me. I changed but they didn't. There is nothing I can do. Every time I run to them for support, they reject me. I miss them. I love them but they don't give a shit about me. I can't do it anymore. I can't keep begging for their acceptance. I can't keep begging them to love me. I have to walk away for my own good. I've been slowly killing myself inside reaching out to them and I can't do it anymore. I've been engaging in self destructive behavior. I always thought that ur family was the ones u come to for support but not mine. Not for me anyways.
Replies
I know it\'s been a while since you wrote this, but really wanted to tell you that I hope you stop the S/D behavior.
It may not be true for you, but for a many females who get dumped by family, the females talk each other into it. They just keep chattering away until they eventually get everyone on board. If they weren\'t rejecting you, it would be someone else.
It feels good to let go of people who shut you out. Very painful at first, but eventually, very freeing.
Yes it did feel good to let go of it all. With my \"new eyes\" I feel whole.