Today

Before my husband gets home from work, I would like to write some feelings for today down.  He thinks I have become obsessed with the computer lately and doesn't understand that it is helping me heal on the inside... My son is still napping, it has been 3 hours, poor little guy has a bad cold.  I thought it had gone into his ears because he woke up this morning with 102 fever, the doctor said, just a cold.   My feelings and thoughts for the day.  I think I am complely depressed.  I just took a 2 1/2 hour nap, but you know what, I haven't been able to sleep at night.  I just lie there and think about everything for hours.  So it is good I got some sleep today.  Maybe I will be refreshed for a new day tomorrow.  I will not feel guilty for taking a long nap, it hurts because just a week ago I was allowed to take naps because my baby inside was making me so tired!!!! I still can't stopped thinking about this empty feeling in my heart, it hurts.  And as I just wrote that sentance I have realized that yes, I am depressed and I know if it last longer than a few weeks, I will go to the doctor for medicine.  I hate being on antidepresents, I was on them 5 years ago when my Dad passed away.  But I know they work and you need to take them when you can't shake the sadness away.   I just ate a huge bowl of ice cream... it made me feel good:)! Emptiness is strong today, I am sad.  But it is okay to be sad.