my life

So my life is kind of weird. My name is Cindy when I finish school or before, I'm a teen, I want to become a singer actress and dancer/performer. I currently am losing weight I'm not that big that's not what the number says. I have really bad suicidal thoughts and depression and cut. I have friends but they are so fake so I can't trust them. I also suffer from anxiety and paranoia  and hear voices/delusions. My dad abandoned me but recently came back but our relationship is cold really bad. He has a gf but she's so stereotypical hate her plus she has three kids who are total snobs and are always shopping. Ugh. My dad is so cruel. I have no good man in my life. My stepfather don't even get me started. Worst person I have ever met. HE MAKES THE DEVIL LOOK LIKE AN ANGEL! he always puts me and my mom down. He is also really abusive and doesn't want to leave the house even though my mom insists they break up. They been together for years since I was in 2nd grade. He's always fighting with everybody. My mom has bi polar and heart problems me and her are bff's . So sometimes I'm scared her body might give up on her cuz of stress. Our grandma lives with us and has dementia. So she hates my stepfather too and always fights over unreal things with him and my mom because she forgets. I also have a 4 year old brother. My stepfather treats my mom like a servant  give me this give my that. The dang cat does more than him. All he does everyday is lay down in my MOM'S room and eat  sleep and breathe. Then he has the nerve's to say I'm lazy. Imagine how many fights everyday. Like 10 all together everyday. I worry about my mom because of her bad health problems . So much stress. Plus I have bad mental problems with seeing things and hearing I get stressed out cuz no one believes me. I'm really depressed and have suicidal thoughts and some kids at school especially popular kids make fun of me behind my back that's what I think. I also daydream alot which isn't good either