TGIF - Left the office early today - to see Mom - she is very funny talking about men, she totally is in love with men, it's part of the dementia and she is so cute, her white curly hair, I took her for a perm last week and her big baby-blue eyes, too bad they look so vacant, she is still here, she has an infection in her ankle bone, they will be keeping her in the hospital until tuesday and then off to rehab. Intellectually, I know she is ok and it-is-what-it-is but feelings are not right or wrong I am emotionally bummed out.

Went the the hairdresser - they were busy - so I will go tomorrow - I am trying to cope and to take care of myself as best as I can - gee these are the times I wish I was married "well maybe not" - I do have supportive friends - but I wish sometimes I could share or just put my head on a strong shoulder. Well enough of the lonely girl in NYC routine.

OH, and as for the cigarettes, I thought a lot about them today, about the ritual of smoking after leaving the hospital - but the reality is - I had more time -the visit went better because I was not a slave to the evil white cylinder today, I did not have to smoke, I chose not to.

I appreciate all the support I receive here at DS - the writing and venting really is helping me - I think wow I will write about that this evening and share with my cyber-friends - I can't keep kvetching to my non-cyber-friends.

Just Thanks for all the help, tips and for being as beautiful as you all are - Your all coming from such pure places.

Peace Bothers & Sisters
and
I did not smoke today.

Ree