Feels so angry I'm angry that they suited the missed appointment to being my fault I'm angry that she was last I'm angry that I am and always will be just a number ...... I'm feeling so lost and broken I feel like these word that no1 will ever read or see are all that I have and all that I've become I can't bare to be touched or huged this is a death sentence only u not aloud to die ....I wonder if wen I die I will be free like a butterfly I dream that one day I will be the urge to hurt myself is coming back the need to feel like I have been punished for being such a waist of air but I will lose the baby if I do so it's just another battle that has now begin if I could just do it tho I would feel better I would be able to get through for a bit longer there is no way of  them not finding out that I did I'm  18 weeks pregnant I feel a little protection from this I would never hurt my kids so for now I can't hurt me....