HOW?????

This is new for me posting my true thoughts, to be honest I'm a pretty secretive but that is only because i have not had the best luck trusting people. its so hard to think of were to start so i will just type whats on my mind at the moment (sorry if your lost)My son and i moved from home about a year ago originally i went to NC to stay with a cousin and her husband that i looked up to. relocated me and my son because my environment was pretty negative and i wanted to learn from them learn how to get closer to God learn how to be great mother and to be a overall better me. My job was able to transfer me although it wasnt a great paying job it was work and i was excited i have always wanted more im the youngest of 4 children my mother was and still is a felon and drug addict my two sisters are very negative and my brother well what brother i barely know or see him. my back story is so deep its hard to brief it but ok back to NC  after i relocated i stayed with my family for a week and a half and her husband sat me down and told me i had to leave by the end of the week they did not want me to stay with them and he was not fully aware of the situation and did not want me to stay. i was devastated and confused the reasons they gave was because i slept all day and that left my son with them and they did not like that but i worked 3rd shift and anly slept until my son got out of school also they have  kids and my cousin is a stay at home mom who agreed to help me and a week and a half is not long enouph to give me a fair chance. i ended up staying with complete strangers who over charged and put me out when i refused to have sex with the lady who i was staying with son i needed help i was alone and homeless so i did sleep with him and also pay his mother for a place to stay this was something i had never done before and still have nightmares about and makes me feel very dirty i would take my son to work with me at night and let him sleep in an empty room on a air matress i kept in my car carrying it from the place i was staying and work for y son and i to sleep.  Finally i had enouph ounce the money i was trying to save kept being borrowed and not given back so i called my mom she has her own issues but the state she  was currently liiving in was a lot closer than home she told me i could come stay with her so i gased my car and took the 9 hour drive with my VERY STRONG WONDERFUL SON after two months of staying with my mom she decided she was jumping states again this was a hrd blow because she had promised t help me and she left a week after i got my first pay check at my new job i have found an apartment now for my son and I but now HOW DO I START TO GIVE US A BETTER LIFE its so much going through my mind i have no friends that i can talk to and i have to be so strong all the time im just in search of people i can connect with motivate and be motivated by