I believe that I am falling in love. There I admitted it, I am falling in love. Do I feel conflicted? I feel so conflicted. Do I feel guilty. I feel so guilty. My head tells me one thing, but my heart tells me another. Five months ago you and I were inseparable. We were planning our first trip to Europe and helping our two girls plan their weddings. We were happy and desperately in love. We were Mike and Kym. We were happy.
 
These last five months have changed me. I am different. I have been transformed. I have walked this road of grief and taken it on for all that I am worth. I have made it mine. I have made it unique to me and me alone. The love that I feel  for youh  has given me the strength to try new things, consider new things, and to accept new things. I have found that in opening my heart, I have been able to heal.
 
I believe that I am falling in love. It is not the overwhelming feeling that I had when I started to fall in love with you. It is much quieter, calmer, more graceful. It is as if a gift has been given, a second chance, a rebirth is a way. He is not you, he not my first love, nor the man who will father my children, or the man that will help define who I am. He does not take my breath away with just a glance nor is he the man who has known me and loved me though several lives. The man that has opened my heart, brings tears to my eyes with his gentle nature and his respect and understanding for my need to heal. The man that I am falling in love with makes me laugh, smiles with his eyes, and readily lies under the stars and listens to the sounds that are unique to the dog days of summer.
 
I believe that I am falling in love, and though conflicted, I am happy. The night that you passed I found myself engulfed in a darkness that I believed would never fade to light. To find myself smiling without reason, or able to whisper the name of another, has reconfirmed my belief in life, in myself and in God.  I believe I am falling in love.
 
Me