I have reached my third month and now find myself in the acceptance phase of grieving. A friend who has lost her husband told me this would be the most difficult month for me. She was right. I cried all day before coming to work and was rude to Pete when he asked me questions about the deck. I am not proud of myself and do not take pride in being mean tempered. I need to take a deep breath and regroup. I refuse to step backwards and must remind myself that my inner strength is one the traits that you loved most.
Dear sweet Michael grieving is hard. I have never felt this type of intense emotion in my life. I miss you so much that at times it physically hurts. Sara gave me a sign that says, "Life is not about weathering the storm, but learning to dance in the rain." You know how I love the written word and find peace in such a beautiful sentiment.
Next week my new friend Leigh Anne is taking my hoarse back riding through the logging trail by our house. I am going to ride one of Ellies horses. I am excited about learning a new skill. I also have found a somewhat of a talent for painting and will be taking another class in the near future. I have also started quilting again. Kim and I are making a twelve month quilt. I just have to decide where to hang it when it is done. I'm sorry that I never finished your sea turtle quilt. I promise that I will and then tuck it away for our first grandson.
Must get back to work. I have two students tonight and I am keeping busy. You continue to be tucked deep within my heart.
I love you.
Me