It was rainy and dark here and you know what, I made it through the day without feeling depressed.   A huge milestone for me. The last two days have been busy.   Sara spent the night and we painted the sun room. I kept the ceiling the light blue but changed the color of the walls to a soft green called, “rain.” Sara and I took up the flooring and we are going to paint the concrete a sunny yellow. The trim has a fresh new coat of white. So pretty.   Feels like I am at the beach. I love the beach.
Still keeping busy and getting caught up on all the house work. I can’t believe how I let it go. It is so nice to see everything coming back together and put into its proper place. I have made some changes that reflect more my style than ours. The yard remains all you and the flowers that we planted before your passing are thriving. Carol and Ellie put up the black iron fencing and you where spot on with your design choice.
I continue to take time to meditate an hour a day, eat healthy and get enough sleep. I am not isolating myself or blaming the world for my loss. I will not lie and say that I don’t find myself crying for my want of you are not missing the sound of your voice and the sweetness of your touch.  The majority of my life with you now takes place behind closed eyes and through the solitude of sleep, prayer and meditation.   At times I feel you so strongly that it is as if you never left. 
I have come to terms that my life will never be the same now that it has been touched with such profound grief. There will always be the feeling that something is missing. I have also come to the terms that life will go on and so will I. The possibilities for my life seem endless. The day before you died you told me that you loved my strength and that nothing was beyond my reach. Dear sweet husband I plan to live my life proving you right.   I love you.  
Me