Had a good weekend. So busy. Spent the night with Sara Friday so we could get ready for the garage sale on Saturday. Sara did very well. I sold your chain saw and a basket for a shell. Really I did. Sunday Kim and I went to see Lizzie Borden at the Portland Center Stage. Lizzie Borden turned out to be a rock musical and we both loved it. We splurged afterwards and went to Jakes and had dinner and the chocolate bag filled with berries. Yummy. Needless to say I am eating very little today.
I stated cleaning out the kitchen cabinets and started throwing away all the old spices that you had wanted to throw a way last year. It felt good to get the house back in order and to make it back into a home. The house is going to be painted when I’m on my road trip to see my parents. They miss you so and offer silent prayers for myself and kids daily. I am so glad that we had bought the paint before you passed. I know the colors where to your liking as well as mine. The house will look beautiful.
I continue to grow more independent daily and find myself starting to look forward to my future. I can hear you so clearly telling me to move on and live my life to the fullest. I cannot tell you that I still don’t have days that my only wish is to feel your arms around me again or you asking me what we are going to do today? However, those days are becoming less frequent and my nights are free from nightmares and frequent fits of anger.
I still find solace in talking to you as if you were standing next to me. In ways I feel closer to you than I have ever been. I find peach in knowing that you are healthy, full of joy, and that I will see you again someday. Life goes on and never halts at yesterday. I am finding peace. I love you.
Me