My Story

Intro New to Group
Posted on 09/03/10, 04:22 am
Hello there out there in Chronic Pain Town U.S.A. (& around the World) ;-) My name is 'Stubborn' TerrieAnn. I have known of the Pain Relief Network, Dr. Alex (God Bless him,) Tami, (God Bless her,) & Ms. Siobhan ? Spelling? (God Bless her Twice please,) for a little over a year now, I think. I'm not sure cause time really gets away from me attempting to deal with this condition and all it has done to my life. I have been in daily, chronic pain since August of 2003. I spent the first few years struggling with regular P.A.'s, (Physicians Assistants,) & M.D.'s (Medical Doctors.) I knew nothing of a "War on Drugs," nor did I understand why I was struggling with these medical professionals. I met a young lady who had gone through some of what I was experiencing and my ignorance slowly gave way to terror and bewilderment. I still could not believe it was acceptable behavior for Doctors & other Medical Professionals to treat me the way they were, & I did not expect to be treated badly, yet it kept happening to me. What happened you ask............ that is a long, long, 8 year story which I will try to begin to write down now that I have asked everyone else to do it too. ;-) I will give a short version here if I can. I had been taking Ultram( non-narcotic that tricks the brain into believing it is a narcotic,) on a daily basis for about 9 months I think, before that day in August, 2003 when I began to ask my P.A. for something stronger. I was working full time as an Asst.Office Manager, and supervisor of the switchboard for a very busy, well known, non-profit organization for 3 yrs at this point. I was raising 2 teenagers of my own, one wonderful tweenager, and a hand full of teenagers with troubled homes who gravitated to my home for the attention I seem to give. (I was alone, abandoned by my mom thru death at the age of 16 & the rest of my family for whatever reason they have. I've never known why. So, I gave what I never got, to many teenagers, when I became a mom.) I desired to remain working, but it was becoming more & more difficult as the days went on, to manage the daily pain with the medication I was on, & I was on the highest dose possible. My P.A. gave me 3 Lortab 5mg. each day. It was becoming not enough and I was unable to sleep at night, the pain waking me every 40 minutes or so. I requested one more pill a day for sleeping. After a series of medical personnel mistakes, along with misinformation, prejudice, & ignorance, I was told my P.A. did not want to be my doc anymore, and she would not refill my monthly prescription of pain medication (They really thought I was just going to walk away and not continue to ask for help, which if I was an addicted person looking for a high I suppose I might have done....... She was seriously unprofessional, I believe, because she truly believed I was just looking for more medication to become intoxicated with. She did not have conversation with me to clarify information, she just believed the personnel who had made the mistakes with my prescription while she was on vacation for 2 weeks and the pharmacy who was misinformed by the medical personnel upstairs in the clinic. (I never thought about it until it was all over with, but it could have been someone working there attempting to take my medication and say I had received it when I had not.) (It could have been an honest mistake by medical personnel, & they were attempting to save their jobs at my expense.) (Only God & the powers-that-be will ever know the truth.) Even when the whole story was out and my innocence was obvious, the P.A. still did not wish to continue my treatment. (We had this sacred relationship for 3 years and it was gone in one misunderstanding involving opioid medications.) I became an inconvenience rather than a human being, or a chronic pain patient, and I was shuffled around from professional to professional until I learned my rights and demanded to see an M.D. before the day was over and I sat down and waited for someone to do the right thing. The regular M.D. who had the misfortune to draw the short stick & had to see me, was a woman my age from a different country with heavy accent in her voice. This was okay, I am not prejudice by any means, but she acted as if I was a 3 yr. old child and I needed her to discipline me. She told me if I wanted to be treated at the clinic any further I would have to accept a change in my medication from the immediate release medications I had been on to the long acting methadone or oxycontin. I began to cry, (again, afraid of both medications because I was ignorant of what the medical community was doing with chronic pain patients and only knew what I had recently seen on the local T.V. News about addicts using methadone to detox from heroin and addicts stealing from pharmacies for the other drug.) I had been in recovery from drugs and alcohol since 1987, and did was afraid of both drugs. Thus began my journey of being a chronic pain patient in the middle between the War On Drugs, and my medical care professionals. It's late and my story is a long one. The intro is done above, and I will continue as soon as I am able. Hopefully tomorrow. In Love Light Truth & Service 'Stubborn' TerrieAnn

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