Day Two
Last night I took the dogs for a walk. It was a warm day and the lightness of the breeze on my skin felt nice, a spring breeze. Walked to the blind and sat a bit....some ducks, a heron.
I feared I would not sleep well last night, but I actually slept better than I had in weeks. I woke with no sweats and my body feeling relaxed. As I woke though, my body became more tense and I have a twitch or tremor in my right hand...on again off again....and feeling slightly nauseous. And while I woke positive...surprised by how well I slept and feeling relaxed, my thoughts are starting to stack up.
I'm going to try to find the rest of the Tonglen book I was listening to on my drive to work last week. I'd been listening to the first disc for my commute this last week and it had things that were really helpful to hear. I know the rest of the audio book is around. If I can't find it, it won't hurt to listen to the first disc again.
So again my goals for today are to drink some water, take my breaks and lunch and take deep breaths when needed....I may be needing to do that a lot today. The other thing I thought of was to take the day off if I need to. This week could be difficult...give yourself the time without regret if that is what you need.
My biggest challenge and goal to meet today again will be not stopping at the liquor store on the way home. I imagine this will be an ongoing challenge, but all I have to do is not go there today. I'll think about tomorrow....tomorrow and the next day....the next day. Today I will concern myself with today. I thought of maybe during the day today, like an athlete, to envision going home without stopping at the liquor store....what does that look like? Play it over throughout the day in as much detail as I can.
Also an hour before needing to go home I could ask the support group for support. I was really inspired by one person talking about being 63 days sober, and how that person had been in a previous environment and moved through it in a new way...challenged by it but with success. I will think of that person today, too.
When I get home, I will reward myself in some small way.
I feared I would not sleep well last night, but I actually slept better than I had in weeks. I woke with no sweats and my body feeling relaxed. As I woke though, my body became more tense and I have a twitch or tremor in my right hand...on again off again....and feeling slightly nauseous. And while I woke positive...surprised by how well I slept and feeling relaxed, my thoughts are starting to stack up.
I'm going to try to find the rest of the Tonglen book I was listening to on my drive to work last week. I'd been listening to the first disc for my commute this last week and it had things that were really helpful to hear. I know the rest of the audio book is around. If I can't find it, it won't hurt to listen to the first disc again.
So again my goals for today are to drink some water, take my breaks and lunch and take deep breaths when needed....I may be needing to do that a lot today. The other thing I thought of was to take the day off if I need to. This week could be difficult...give yourself the time without regret if that is what you need.
My biggest challenge and goal to meet today again will be not stopping at the liquor store on the way home. I imagine this will be an ongoing challenge, but all I have to do is not go there today. I'll think about tomorrow....tomorrow and the next day....the next day. Today I will concern myself with today. I thought of maybe during the day today, like an athlete, to envision going home without stopping at the liquor store....what does that look like? Play it over throughout the day in as much detail as I can.
Also an hour before needing to go home I could ask the support group for support. I was really inspired by one person talking about being 63 days sober, and how that person had been in a previous environment and moved through it in a new way...challenged by it but with success. I will think of that person today, too.
When I get home, I will reward myself in some small way.
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