As February gets closer, I feel more anxious and apprehensive about everything. I've been having bad dreams of my soon-to-be ex. Dreams that he will come back into my life and try to control it once again. I know that can't happen, but it must be my worst fears playing mind games with me. I am a much stronger woman today. Stronger than I've ever been. What also scares me is I can't make as many AA meetings as I used to because of my work. I used to make at least 3 meetings a week. Now one. But I've recently found another group, just for women. Not strictly AA, but a recovery meeting about women's issues. I went to my second meeting Tuesday and I like it so far. Maybe I'll be able to help someone there. I haven't felt like much help to anyone since I got sober 8 years ago. I'd like to share what I have with others, but not sure how. To pass on to others what has been so freely given to me. Sobriety, sanity, peace! I'm starting to learn what it's like to be a normal person, with normal needs and desires. My mom and I have even gotten closer. Maybe she's starting to understand the things I've had to go through to get where I am today. She's facing some of the same issues I've had to face. I just "walk through the fear", like my sponsor tells me to do. And I've heard some news on my stb ex-, but I'll write more later. Have to take care of my tummy right now. Hungry.