It's been a rough week for me. Caught a bit of virus for a day and a half. Just starting to gain my appetite back. On my way to my regular Sunday night AA meeting and forgot it was birthday night. It was 7:30. The supper starts at 7 p.m., before the meeting. That's how scatter-brained I've been all week. Stressing out over February's arrival and the impending divorce proceedings. There's not even a set date for it. All I've heard from my lawyer is it would happen in Feb. The last time I was overwhelmed with things this bad was when my husband had gotten a job 2 years ago. Come to think of it, I was late and had forgotten all about that AA birthday supper also. I was just so happy and overwhelmed that he FINALLY went to work. I made it through the meeting and was glad to be there. But as some members shared and congratulated the celebrants, I started feeling out of it. Out of touch and out of place a bit. I'm so busy working at 4 jobs that I don't have time for meetings like I used to. But these days, I'm supporting myself and I'm trying to save for a car. I feel like life is passing me by. I've been out of touch with my yahoo e-mail for most of the week, and thinking it was something I did. It was just down, is all. I'm starting to doubt myself and I don't like it. I came home from the meeting tonight and fell on the couch crying. I know I still have my friends and they are busy too, but I just felt alone and lonely. It's nice to have a quiet, peaceful place to come home to, but it's lonely sometimes. I've been thinking a lot of hubby lately. Not that I want him back. My decision to leave him was not an easy one, but one I had to make for myself. Remembering the good times, which were few and far between for the past few years. But we did have some good times. I guess I'm kinda feeling like nobody will ever love me the way I want to be loved again. Even though we are in the midst of a divorce, we did have another year married. Jan. 22 was our 15th wedding anniversary. I will be alright. This too shall pass. And I will certainly not drink over it.
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divorces are hard regardless of the circumstances. Just hang in there. You are right in that this too shall pass
Wow, it\'s no wonder you are overwhelmed - that is so much to be going through - working so hard and dealing with new circumstances. Try not to let the self doubt creep in, and remember all you have accomplished to take care of yourself and how much strength it takes! It\'s hard as we get older, and I often wonder who would really be there for me in a crisis even though I know I have my friends too - I often still feel really alone....hang in there!