It's been a rough week for me. Caught a bit of virus for a day and a half. Just starting to gain my appetite back. On my way to my regular Sunday night AA meeting and forgot it was birthday night. It was 7:30. The supper starts at 7 p.m., before the meeting. That's how scatter-brained I've been all week. Stressing out over February's arrival and the impending divorce proceedings. There's not even a set date for it. All I've heard from my lawyer is it would happen in Feb. The last time I was overwhelmed with things this bad was when my husband had gotten a job 2 years ago. Come to think of it, I was late and had forgotten all about that AA birthday supper also. I was just so happy and overwhelmed that he FINALLY went to work.  I made it through the meeting and was glad to be there. But as some members shared and congratulated the celebrants, I started feeling out of it. Out of touch and out of place a bit. I'm so busy working at 4 jobs that I don't have time for meetings like I used to. But these days, I'm supporting myself and I'm trying to save for a car. I feel like life is passing me by. I've been out of touch with my yahoo e-mail for most of the week, and thinking it was something I did. It was just down, is all. I'm starting to doubt myself and I don't like it. I came home from the meeting tonight and fell on the couch crying. I know I still have my friends and they are busy too, but I just felt alone and lonely. It's nice to have a quiet, peaceful place  to come home to, but it's lonely sometimes. I've been thinking a lot of hubby lately. Not that I want him back. My decision to leave him was not an easy one, but one I had to make for myself. Remembering the good times, which were few and far between for the past few years. But we did have some good times. I guess I'm kinda feeling like nobody will ever love me the way I want to be loved again. Even though we are in the midst of a divorce, we did have another year married. Jan. 22 was our 15th wedding anniversary. I will be alright. This too shall pass. And I will certainly not drink over it.