I went see my doctor today and got a check-up. Got back on my anti-depressants and got a letter stating I need my dog with me for companionship. My doctor is a recovering addict and he's compassionate. Some people think he's a hard-ass, but I like him just fine. I'm trying to finish up what paperwork I need for my housing application. I started moving some of my things to my mom's. Since hubby left me with little food in the house, I'm returning the favor. I also plan to take the major appliances. Since he wants the house, he can come back to the house. He forgot to mention whether he wanted it furnished or not. I am the sweetest person you could find, but after what he did and how he treated me? I can be one mean bitch! No more Ms. Nice Girl. I just can't stand how he turns everything around to try to make me and everyone else look bad. He can't do it. He can't make us look bad, because there's no case, but it doesn't stop him from blaming others for his own flaws and short-comings. He is really delusional. At least I know what my problem is. It's me. But he has no clue as to his behavior and how it affects him. The stronger I get in my recovery, the more independent I get. The more self-esteem and self-confidence I gain. I have more growth in all areas of my life, esp. my spiritual growth. I look forward to attending church now, where as a child, I had to go. Now I want to go. I enjoy Sunday mass. And I truly believe that after all these years of living with others, God is telling me it's time I live on my own. Time for me to grow up and experience life as a single, independent woman. After Matt left in February, I prayed for God's will for me in my life. Asked His guidance and direction. I prayed for truth, wisdom, knowledge, and clarity. And I do believe He's giving me those things today. I am confidant in my decision to end my marriage. Matt asked me how could I make a decision so easily. This was no easy decision for me by any means. I did a ton of crying, praying, and soul-searching before I came up with my decision. I did not take my marriage vows lightly and I don't take this decision lightly either. How could he think I am so shallow? I honestly don't believe he loves me anymore. I just think it's his wounded pride talking. When this is all said and done, this will make divorce No. 2 for him. He's been divorced for years now, and he still talks about his ex-wife and how she hurt him and turned his children against him. Another case of it's not my fault. No husband, no mother, no boyfriend waiting for me at home. I've never been totally on my own before. Never had my own place. I'm scared to death about this divorce and having to make it alone. But I'm also excited about having my own place one day. It's not gonna happen right now. And I don't really look forward to living with mom again, but it beats being jumpy and nervous all the time, waiting for hubby to just appear out of nowhere. I already have a couple of guys in the group flirting with me, but I know that there is some sort of rule against dating the first year after a breakup of a relationship. Don't know too much about it, but I'm sure my sponsor will be more than happy to fill me in. Did anyone else have an experience similar to what mine is now? Give me feedback, people. HELP!