I appreciate everyone's kind words to me - I really appreciate it - and all of it makes complete and perfect sense. I know all of this - but for some reason I can't let it sink in. It's like I"m my own worst enemy.
Funny, I can offer support and lend an ear - and tell people the same thing people have told me - yet when it comes to ME - I can't do it - I have no motivation to - I KNOW I have to - yet I'm frozen inside. I hate myself right - because I realize that what everyone is saying is so true - yet I can't heed what others say - or what I've said to other people.
I hate this disease sometimes. I hate that I realize the situation - and can't correct it.
Funny, I can offer support and lend an ear - and tell people the same thing people have told me - yet when it comes to ME - I can't do it - I have no motivation to - I KNOW I have to - yet I'm frozen inside. I hate myself right - because I realize that what everyone is saying is so true - yet I can't heed what others say - or what I've said to other people.
I hate this disease sometimes. I hate that I realize the situation - and can't correct it.
Replies
hang in there monkey
Don\'t hate the player hate the game, isn\'t that how it goes!?! And by the way, you are a huge support, not just to me, but to so many others as well. I think that what it comes down to is that we\'re our own harshest critics. Perhaps if we were able to see ourselves as other see us, we would realize all of our assets and best qualities. Yours are endless. Lots of love, Kim
I read you journal from yesterday, and while I don\'t have any real words of wisdom, your story could pretty much be mine and I did survive, I don\'t know how, but the kids and I even got closer and I realized I\'m a survivor. You are too. I spent a lot of days in the fetal position with Oreos and cigarettes. But life got better slowly but surely. You\'ll make it.
You have just ssaid it disease and there is no way to magically snap out of it or pull up a magic pair of socks
That is the awful stigma
If it was\'nt a disease no one would have depression. Take care of you and it.
Do what you need to to get healthy. The good news is it\'s treatable, but it takes time and sometimes several medication cahnges before you get the right one for you. I am not talking as a professional but one who has been there. Support is also a very important part.
You are doing the best you can and applaud yourself for that
Take time to stop and smell the roses and try to take one day at a time
God Bless You my friend
Love Jan
Who said you were aloud to describe ME in your Journal LOL! That is me but I have been getting better, but only by inches. Don\'t be so hard on yourself, you\'ll be just fine. Love you- John