If I close my eyes forever - would it all remain the same?
If I close my eyes forever - would it all remain unchanged?
If I close my eyes forever - would I feel the warm and dark embrace?
Sometimes I wonder if it would be easier to just close my eyes forever....the only thing that keeps me from doing that is my kids - honestly I try to feel the good in life - it's so difficult...sure to the outside world I paint such a colorful picture - but deep down the darkness from within grabs hold of me and takes me...I'm at such a vulnerable point right now - teetering on a highwire - trying to balance with all my might...but I get so tired of focusing and fighting that sometimes I just want to give up and fall....darkness it's so much easier - than it is embracing the light. I try with all my might to stay with the positive - it's so difficult at times....so much easier to just let the darkness embrace me and take over. If I were to vanish tomorrow - how much impact would it cause - putting aside my children....life would go on....for I feel as I am insignificant....sure people would feel sad for a bit- but life would resume...it always does
I try to stay positive - yet it's so much easier to fall into the darkness.
If I close my eyes forever - would it all remain unchanged?
If I close my eyes forever - would I feel the warm and dark embrace?
Sometimes I wonder if it would be easier to just close my eyes forever....the only thing that keeps me from doing that is my kids - honestly I try to feel the good in life - it's so difficult...sure to the outside world I paint such a colorful picture - but deep down the darkness from within grabs hold of me and takes me...I'm at such a vulnerable point right now - teetering on a highwire - trying to balance with all my might...but I get so tired of focusing and fighting that sometimes I just want to give up and fall....darkness it's so much easier - than it is embracing the light. I try with all my might to stay with the positive - it's so difficult at times....so much easier to just let the darkness embrace me and take over. If I were to vanish tomorrow - how much impact would it cause - putting aside my children....life would go on....for I feel as I am insignificant....sure people would feel sad for a bit- but life would resume...it always does
I try to stay positive - yet it's so much easier to fall into the darkness.
Replies
STOP!!!!!!!!!!!! Although I love that song, I love u. And you would cause me great sorrow and loss. Even though it\'s been a computer friendship, you are real to me, and I know I will meet u one day. If u closed your eyes forever, my life wouldnt be the same. You are a very valuable person to many! Thank God for your kids, to keep u afloat. I can relate though, Ive been there many times. I even thought my kids would be better with me gone, rather than watching me struggle with depression that affects them as well. But they have told me, without me they would feel to blame, and not be able to go on. I have to stay here, because the thought of hurting them even more, by being gone, kills me. Hang in there Lisa. I need you!
why?!?!?! Would you feel this way- people love you-
and care about you- not just your amazing children-
but all the freinds here on DS. would feel the ripples.
Your stronger than most- your the guiding light...you can\'t go out...you\'ll leave the rst of us in the dark.
STORM...
I\'m so tired of people telling me I\'m strong - I\'M NOT!!! Yet everyone tells me I am....look closer and you will see this weak spirit that just wants to embrace the darkness - it\'s so much easier. I wish I could run and never look back. I\'ve been told my children need guidance - how can I guide them - when I can\'t even guide myself. I\'m so weak - I have no hope - I have nothing. How is that positive to those around me? Honestly....I put on a great mask for the world to see - but if you look closer - I\'m so far from that person you perceive me to be.
I\'m so tired of people telling me I\'m strong - I\'M NOT!!! Yet everyone tells me I am....look closer and you will see this weak spirit that just wants to embrace the darkness - it\'s so much easier. I wish I could run and never look back. I\'ve been told my children need guidance - how can I guide them - when I can\'t even guide myself. I\'m so weak - I have no hope - I have nothing. How is that positive to those around me? Honestly....I put on a great mask for the world to see - but if you look closer - I\'m so far from that person you perceive me to be.
Sometimes the ones who feels the weakest among the masses- usually turn out to be the strongest.
STORM...