I'm Alive & Kicking

I just wanted to say thank you to all of you with your concerns and good thoughts during my absense on DS.

I've been getting out and enjoying the warm weather, etc. I hope everyone is doing ok - and if you're in New England - that you took advantage of the AWESOME weather. I've had the pleasure of indulging in my dose of Vitamin D the last couple days. So therapeutic - I love it. The sun warming your skin is so invIgorating - such a feel good feeling. I felt like a snake coming out of hibernation - and found the perfect rock to stretch out on and take in the warmth. Long overdue. Although the forecast is sinking back into the drearyness again - it's ok - I appreciate the fact that Mother Nature was kind enough to give me a taste of more good things to come!

Spring is all about new beginnings. Being back in New England - it's made me acknowledge the 4 seasons again. When I lived in Florida - seasons just blended and felt like days, months & years just blended all into one season. As much as I bitch about winter - it helps me appreciate Spring so much more. I look around and notice the crocus pushing through the earth. The trees are budding - sporting that beautiful green on their limbs. The gray is lifting around me - and inside of me as well. Still have a ways to go - but sitting here - and being away from DS for a few days and coming back - I've realized that things are ALOT better than when I first came here "Seeking Knowledge". Sure - I'm still struggling - but it's not as difficult - if that makes sense. The fact that there are people who know and can completely relate to you helps so much - beyond belief. I've met some wonderful people on here - truly amazing people. We all come from so many different walks of life - yet are here for one common goal - and that's to try and erradicate the
negatives that we are struggling with in our lives.
Anyways....

I've been trying to face life head on - doing what I need to get done. The simple stuff - yet so difficult to do. Today's task at hand? Laundry & cleaning my room! Oh how I dread both. But, it doesn't bother me as much - as let's say back in January. Also, the other big motivator? A friend of mine is staying with my kids for 2 days next week - and I'm heading to the Big Apple - and am looking sooooooo forward to it. It's been a long time since I've looked forward to something - and it feels really good. This country mouse is leaving the bubble and heading off to the big city. BIG step for the country mouse. I've been so use to living in my bubble for such a long time. I'm doing something spontaneous - well spontaneous with someone who has 2 kids LOL It really makes me feel so alive - I haven't looked forward to something in what seems like forever - and the anticipation of it makes me feel so good. A part of me feels alive again - a part of me that felt like it was dead and could never see that existing in me again. This is really big for me. My eyes are welling up just thinking of this transformation in me. Not tears of sadness - but tears of joy. The fact that I'm doing this is amazing me. I'm breaking out of the "motions". Someone amazing has taught me how to rediscover that - and I'm forever greatful. He's been such a great listener, advisor, friend - and has helped me to find the strength within me again. Such a great connection - it's really amazing. Someone is actually taking my hand and helping me out of the downward spiraling. Understanding that feeling as well - we're helping each other swim out of the riptide.

Ok, this country mouse has to get a movin' - I need to get things done - the dreaded laundry - and my room - but it's not that bad - because I have something motivating me - which is great!