Confusion and Fear
I sit here at my desk trying to put into words where I'm at. And I'm struggling to do so. So many thoughts race through my head. I feel like I'm in a whirlwind.
The last couple days have been...I can't even come up with a word/term as to what they been. So many different feelings/emotions. I've allowed myself to let someone in - and it's scary. I trust too much - and because I do - I get burned (I'm not saying that this person is going to burn me)....well I get burned because I allow myself to go down with a sinking ship. Knowing full well that the boats going down and I just sit there knowing full well I need to get off the ship before it's too late - yet I can't.
The only way I can describe it is like in the movie Titanic. Everyone is trying to get on rafts, etc. trying to stay alive - yet if you recall in the movie - the band still played on - they didn't pack up and go - knowing full well they were going to drown - they just kept playing. I feel like the band. I feel like I have to go down with the ship. Even though logically I know it's a bad move. I should be trying to find a way to escape before I too drown. Yet, I'm stupid to stay and sink. Is it really stupid? Yes, we have to look out for number one, that being ourselves. But, when does one abandon the ship? I know this probably makes no sense....but it's the only way I can explain it.
That ship was a part of that band's life - and even though the ship was failing - and there was no hope for the ship staying afloat - they couldn't abandon it. The played til the end. Smart move on their part? To those of us looking from the outside - we say probably not - they should "get while the getting's good". There's no hope for the ship - it's sinking. Why stay when you know it's a hopeless situation? But, that ship became a part of their lives. They were going down with it. Is it stupid of them to be dedicated to something that has no hope - or should they cut their losses and try to get out before it's too late?
They're losing their lives for something that has no hope - yet they'll go down with the ship?
What are your thoughts? Should they have continued playing on - knowing that they were going to die - or should they have made an attempt to get out and save their lives - even though they would have to live with the guilt of abandoning the ship?
And for the record, this has nothing to do with the 'new ship' that has sailed in.(The person who I have allowed in.)
I sit here at my desk trying to put into words where I'm at. And I'm struggling to do so. So many thoughts race through my head. I feel like I'm in a whirlwind.
The last couple days have been...I can't even come up with a word/term as to what they been. So many different feelings/emotions. I've allowed myself to let someone in - and it's scary. I trust too much - and because I do - I get burned (I'm not saying that this person is going to burn me)....well I get burned because I allow myself to go down with a sinking ship. Knowing full well that the boats going down and I just sit there knowing full well I need to get off the ship before it's too late - yet I can't.
The only way I can describe it is like in the movie Titanic. Everyone is trying to get on rafts, etc. trying to stay alive - yet if you recall in the movie - the band still played on - they didn't pack up and go - knowing full well they were going to drown - they just kept playing. I feel like the band. I feel like I have to go down with the ship. Even though logically I know it's a bad move. I should be trying to find a way to escape before I too drown. Yet, I'm stupid to stay and sink. Is it really stupid? Yes, we have to look out for number one, that being ourselves. But, when does one abandon the ship? I know this probably makes no sense....but it's the only way I can explain it.
That ship was a part of that band's life - and even though the ship was failing - and there was no hope for the ship staying afloat - they couldn't abandon it. The played til the end. Smart move on their part? To those of us looking from the outside - we say probably not - they should "get while the getting's good". There's no hope for the ship - it's sinking. Why stay when you know it's a hopeless situation? But, that ship became a part of their lives. They were going down with it. Is it stupid of them to be dedicated to something that has no hope - or should they cut their losses and try to get out before it's too late?
They're losing their lives for something that has no hope - yet they'll go down with the ship?
What are your thoughts? Should they have continued playing on - knowing that they were going to die - or should they have made an attempt to get out and save their lives - even though they would have to live with the guilt of abandoning the ship?
And for the record, this has nothing to do with the 'new ship' that has sailed in.(The person who I have allowed in.)
Replies
They were going down with the ship whether they played or not - may as well have been doing something they enjoyed while the ship went down. I know what you mean though anything I have ever let go of had claw marks on it from hanging on. Glad you have someone new in your life. Enjoy the dance. Rita
do what you love till the very end. commitment to what you believe and love.
But why does one commit when we know it\'s a lost cause?
In addition - why am I letting myself sink and drown = instead of trying to survive? Why must I let myself go down with the ship? Why don\'t I have that \"every man for himself\" additude?
I agree with flyfish...you commit becasue it\'s what you love and when you truly love it, \"it\" is all you are about. Those musicians knew there weren\'t enough boats, they knew their chances and they choose to live the finals moments of their lives doing what they loved!
As far as yoursefl goes...well...sometimes it\'s easier to do the easy thing even when you know better instead of doing the harder thing when it would be the right thing to do...
Hmm, as for the band, I reckon they knew they had no hope..so let\'s just play our lives away..since we\'re bound to those them.
as for people staying in hopeless situations..as many reasons as there are people. comfort zones that they fear leaving (unknowns)...not wanting to \"let down\" the team...some always feel they can make a difference, or change a direction. you have to look inside and search for yours.
xoxo
Seeking, does this ship begin with D? My thoughts lead me here, and maybe Im wrong. And even if it isn\'t ship \"D\", this something to this, I THINK. Somewhere along the lines, you were just a little\"float\", following the currents. And a couple of those currents took you to rough waters. However, you made it back, and survived, but haven\'t let go of the feelings those currents caused you to feel. Therefore, you got a sailboat, and sailed along, always trying to taje the right, channel. And for you, it was the right channel you floated down and through. But a great white came along, and damaged your boat, so you fixed it as best you could, but not thoughorly. So on you sailed with a partially working ship, and hit some waters that felt like you had made it to your destination. The sun shined, the warmth from the sun tanned your skin, and you assumed your boat fixed itself. But after a little while on these gorgeous water, a storm settled in. And little by little, that storm took your spirit. You prayed, and begged god to end this storm. But God couldnt intervene. He needed you to find your way out alive, without the sun and the calm winds. You tried and tried. You thought you might make it. A little life boat was thrown your way, and you tied it to you, in hopes you might use it, if all else failed. But the STORM KEPT ON. So here you sit, with a feeling of obligation to your broken boat, and a life boat to help you better the storm, and your heart, soul, and logics, are so intertwined you cant detangle them, to decide if you should stay with the boat going down, or take a chance at the life boat bringing you to safety. I wish you luck in your decision and choices. Instinct guides you, BE STRONG!