It shouldn't be so hard to make a decision, should it? I mean either you want to see me or you don't. I can't accept fear as a reason. I dont know what the hell he's thinking or what his thoughts are. I try and be patient, but I can't fucking take it anymore. I feel so rejected. I swear, my emotions are just like a rollercoaster. One minute I say to myself, it's not you, it's his depression. Then the next it's yes it is you, he's rejecting you, pushing you away. I don't know what to do or think. All I want is wht we shared last fall. Why does it have to be so difficult. He made me feel so good, so happy....why is this happening? Maybe I'm not suppose to be happy. Maybe I'm not suppose to know what it truly feels like to be loved by someone unconditionally all the time. I don't know. All I know is that Ihave so much love to give/share. Why can't it be reciprocated?
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You are supposed to be happy. Maybe he\'s not rejecting you, maybe he can only deal with you at a certain distance now. I don\'t know me and my ex ended up pushing each other to the outer limits. Now she wants me to hang out with her and I can\'t. I just went too far out.
so what, do i hang on in hopes of that? and if i do, for how long?
What is it that has changed the most in the last 8 months or so? I know that my husband and I have a much different, not always so happy, relationship in the winter just because its winter...
YOu are so special I am sure that it will work out soon.
(((HUGS)))
Yeah, that sounds tough, I don\'t even know what to say, besides stick in there. How long have you two been together? Is he on any medication? If so, does it seem to be helping at all?
There\'s nothing anyone can say. I appreciate all of yoru thoughts, I really do. I sent him an email telling him how I\'m feeling. I harbor my feelings from him, because I don\'t want to get him even more down. But in the process, I\'m not helping my cause at all. We\'ve known each other about a year and a half. I know he has alot on his plate. He\'s endured alot the last 4-5 years. Lost his daughter, went through a very messy divorce, etc. He\'s on Cymbalta. His pdoc just upped him to 60 mgs. He started spiraling downward in November when teh holidays came. He hasnt been able to pull himself out since. Although for Valentine\'s Day he sent me a card, with some money. I was upset because I don\'t want to be a pity case, looking for handouts. He was bothered when I said that, and said that\'s what bestfriend/lovers do for each other. I just feel so low. I want to help him, yet I can\'t. I sent him a text with a pic of him that I took when he was here and I wrote \"I want him back\" underneath the pic. He responded \"I know, I suck\". Havent\' heard a response from my email yet. I really dont want to give up but I need to get out of limbo. ya know?