Well, I just spoke to D. I'm really worried about him. He is so low right now. I feel so helpless. I wish I could be there for him. He's so alone. Thank God Rusty is with him. He's saved his life a couple times. He's been having suicidal ideations. He had one last weekend. He has no family to speak of. He has his exwife and inlaws pretty much and work.

I don't know what to do. I really want/think he should get away with me and go to Florida. A place to stay right on the private beach. Just some R&R. He has no "umph" whatsoever. Just works, comes home exhausted and leaves the world behind. I just want to be with him there. I think a change of scenery would do a world of good for him. My boss is pressuring me for dates because he's renting it out other dates, so I called D today and told him that I would love to go with him, and to give me the dates of his vacation in April. He needs to look it up. Which I know right now is such a chore if that makes sense...I don't know if I should really bug him about it, or just tell him forget it. I really don't want to do the latter because I need to be there for him. Does that make me selfish? I just want him to be able to open up to me, to share. I told him about this site. He didn't know there were online support groups....Mr. Google himself hehe...He has a hard time opening up. Honestly, I don't know if he could handle it. He does fine socially, but when it comes to personal stuff he holds it in. He's had alot of tragedies in his life. He lost his daughter in May, 05 in a tragic accident. He was estranged from his children. Thank God he made peace with his daughter. He still hasn't with his son. Lost his mom last year, and went through a divorce last year, 2nd marriage, 26 years. He's endured alot. He's the most kindest, gentlest man I've ever met. It makes me so sad to see him suffer like that. No one should have to feel this way. None of us should.