Well, I've had a busy last couple days, and didn't have the opportunity to write in my journal yesterday. I wish I did, because I had a stressful yet "I am woman hear me roar" kind of day. I closed on one of my deals today, my other one fell through. You'd think I'd be on cloud 9, but I'm not. I mean yes, I need the $ desperately, so I'm greatful for that. This month has been overwhelming.
Off the Prozac, day 4. I feel some relief. The last 2 weeks on it were absolutely horrible. The worst I've felt ever!!! I was so low. I still am, but not anywhere near what I was.
I don't know what to do about D. I feel like I'm hindering him instead of helping him. I know I overwhelm him with talking with him about what's going on with him and his depression. He's opened up alot with me the last couple days, but his mind is racing, and I feel horrible. I want him to be able to share with me, and he has, but I think it scares him that he's sharing this with someone besides his therapist. I don't know, is that a bad thing? Acknowledging what you're feeling/going through and talking about it, as opposed to keeping it inside and trying to "pretend" it doesn't exist?
Visited my g/f downtown today. We had a very deep discussion. I don't know, for me, it helps so much to talk. Maybe I share too much, I don't know. But it's what I feel. I can't explain it, but it's like therapy/vent session, and it feels good to be able to do that. She doesn't judge me, and I don't judge her. We accept each other for who we are. Life is such a struggle. We all have issues, some of us more than others. I don't mean that in a negative way. All I'm saying is that the people that you pass by on the street, and that are all around you have issues of some kind...some of us walk around with that "fake smile" but inside we're screaming because it's so difficult to do....some of us can pull it off, others have a harder time. My job makes me interact, which for me is a good thing. My mind constantly races. I'm always thinking what if, I need to, etc.
I go back to the doc tomorrow to discuss meds. It's stressing me out. The Prozac really did me in mentally and emotionally. I felt like i was being poisoned. I feel my mind is calmer, and I don't feel like psycho woman, which is a good thing. But I feel blue, ho hum. I acknowledge it and try to push it away....some moments it's not as bad as others. I don't know, I never noticed myself feeling such a vast array of emotions in one day. It's been happening alot lately. I guess it's just part of the transition. I don't know.
Off the Prozac, day 4. I feel some relief. The last 2 weeks on it were absolutely horrible. The worst I've felt ever!!! I was so low. I still am, but not anywhere near what I was.
I don't know what to do about D. I feel like I'm hindering him instead of helping him. I know I overwhelm him with talking with him about what's going on with him and his depression. He's opened up alot with me the last couple days, but his mind is racing, and I feel horrible. I want him to be able to share with me, and he has, but I think it scares him that he's sharing this with someone besides his therapist. I don't know, is that a bad thing? Acknowledging what you're feeling/going through and talking about it, as opposed to keeping it inside and trying to "pretend" it doesn't exist?
Visited my g/f downtown today. We had a very deep discussion. I don't know, for me, it helps so much to talk. Maybe I share too much, I don't know. But it's what I feel. I can't explain it, but it's like therapy/vent session, and it feels good to be able to do that. She doesn't judge me, and I don't judge her. We accept each other for who we are. Life is such a struggle. We all have issues, some of us more than others. I don't mean that in a negative way. All I'm saying is that the people that you pass by on the street, and that are all around you have issues of some kind...some of us walk around with that "fake smile" but inside we're screaming because it's so difficult to do....some of us can pull it off, others have a harder time. My job makes me interact, which for me is a good thing. My mind constantly races. I'm always thinking what if, I need to, etc.
I go back to the doc tomorrow to discuss meds. It's stressing me out. The Prozac really did me in mentally and emotionally. I felt like i was being poisoned. I feel my mind is calmer, and I don't feel like psycho woman, which is a good thing. But I feel blue, ho hum. I acknowledge it and try to push it away....some moments it's not as bad as others. I don't know, I never noticed myself feeling such a vast array of emotions in one day. It's been happening alot lately. I guess it's just part of the transition. I don't know.
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