*Sigh* I'm trying to be patient, I really am. I'm just frustated in not being able to see him now. He needs to be comfortable with seeing me. I don't question his love for me at all. He calls me every morning and we talk every night. He's afraid of getting his heart broken. I don't know how to help him overcome that. He's afraid of our age gap (15 years), and has told me that he's afraid my feelings for him will change "when i'm 55 and still gorgeous and he'll be 70". I don't know how I can convince him that age is just a number. I didnt pick my age. I am who I am, he is who he is. I love who he is, and that's all that counts. It bothers me in the respect that I feel that he feels I'm superficial or something. Yeah, I'm 15 years younger....is that really a bad thing? I mean it's not like I'm 15 and he's 30. We're adults for crying out loud. Yes, I'm 38 and he's 53, big whoop! I honestly never looked at it as being an issue, until he mentioned it to me. He doesn't want to let go of me because of it, it's just he's looking down the road. I told him, I'd rather have 30 years of being happy with him, than to never experience the joy that he brings me. I'm just frustrated. I wish there was a way I could help him overcome his fears, but I realize that I can't do that for him. It is something he has to overcome. In the meantime, I guess I have to be patient. There are days that it hurts so much. I miss him terribly. Am I a fool to hang on? Should I be the one scared about getting their heart broken? So many things run though my mind. So many "what if's". All I can do is pray that things will get better for him, me, us. It's just such a struggle sometimes.