Letting go

There is a difference between wanting to let go and needing to let. I had to let go. I didn't want to. I discovered from a caseworker during his psych hold that methamphetamine was in his blood sample. I was shocked and in disbelief.  
He felt (and still feels) like a soul mate, he has lost himself to me because he found a drug that wants to eat his soul and spit it out.
My goal is to be happy being with myself. I don't particularly love living without him as my companion, but I know I need to get used to it and that I want to go through this grieving process so that I can cross the bridge of grief and get to the other side where joy and happiness awaits me. 
Keeping this journal and meeting new friends on DailyStrength will help me. I hope to help others also. 
I keep in mind the poem by Jalal al-Din Rumi:
 
The Guest House
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
 
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.
 
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
 
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
 
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.