Alone
So, I have been moving through each day being optimistic when suddenly today, I feel so alone. I did not have to work today, so I did a lot of cleaning and cooking at home. However, I felt like something was missing. My boys are here with me, but still I felt so alone. I called a few friends, just to talk, and no one picked up. I figured everyone is out living their life. I had the urge to call my STBX and profess my undying love, but my self respect stopped me. I previously said he was not good to me or good for me and I am standing firm on that realization. I know this is temporary state, but damn it hurts. I just feel abandoned and forgotten. Tomorrow will be better, though. I go volunteer at the cat shelter and I plan on baking with my sons. I just can't wait to kick this alone feeling. It is so depressing.
Replies
Awwww! It will get better! My daughter is with my ex tonight at some graduation party, i was invited too but I passed. I haven\'t touched alcohol since the breakup sooooo that whole combination tonight sounded like a situation I wanted no part of lol. Way too awkward. So I\'m just chilling at home, it does get lonely sometimes but looking back and focusing on all the bad that went down the last few years makes me realize I\'m better off with her gone. I\'m getting in better shape, not drinking, focusing on me and my daughter..there is much to be grateful for. Just realize this will all pass, I\'m already starting to feel better..I still think of her but less and less..longer stretches go by where I don\'t. That\'s how it\'s supposed to work, so I\'m optimistic! Hang I\'m there and pet a kitty for me tomorrow! :)
Hang in there. I feel alone also right now, I know it has got to get better for both of us its just a time thing. Easier said right.
Have fun with the kittens today. That will make you feel much better, animals are great. I am going to see a funny movie today , so I know for about 2-3 hours today I will be having fun. lolol
Hang in there
That alone feeling is hard, and some days, like today it is hitting me too. I have done some household chores and am listening to things that interest me on the radio. I have boxes packed to go to Goodwill. And have my food for the day planned which is hard. I have yet to learn how to cook for one and do it wisely and cheaply. I am missing my children (22 and 26 years old), my friends who are all miles away. And my parents. I can\'t afford to move but I also can\'t afford to stay here but I need to get the heck out of this town. I am here because of him. I go to the grocery store and I scan the parking lot first to be sure I don\'t see his car.
Spend quality time with your children, those moments will fill your soul and heart forever . Resist that urge to call the ex...trust me I know how hard that is.
Sending you a big hug. And from my cats to yours....we love that you volunteer at the shelter. :)
Been in your shoes a few years ago. It is amazingly tough but you are a strong woman and will only get stronger as you push through these tough times. Good luck and reach out if you ever feel the need to chat.