day 46

day 46, well i made it, and i have to say im not one for counting days - i feel that its to much pressure, because i think i did it, and i am cured HA (this is just my addictive brain) not my logical brain - my life looking back had some serious painful scenarios, and im learning to get out there and live and be vulnerable and authentic again, i would hide, and lie and be standoffish, i have so much to offer and i think my troubles defined me for too long
 
gambling is just a crutch to make the lonely painful days go away, dont get me wrong i like being alone, isolation has never been a bad thing for me, i havent told anyone about this issue, other than you my DS friends, eventually when I'm in more of safe zone will i release this, but thank you for being here, hope everyone is well