day 20

do i miss gambling?  i miss something, thats for sure, its a weird vacancy, like an abusive ex that i still have feelings for but i know is no good for me...im in a period of mourning, and self discovery, so i'll be taking it one day at a time, my brain still tells me "you werent that bad" you still have money left, you're not like all the rest, but i know better, even if its all true, i dont ever want to feel so low down and disturbed like i did when i left the casino
 
such mental torture, like no other, i'm amazed i got through it, when i read other posts, i cant believe what i see, and read, and if you guys can get out of it....i most certainly can, thank you for being there
 
i wish none of us were here, but it is what it is :)