hello

I am looking for a supportive group of parents like myself who have been estranged from their adult children.  I have one 31 year old son who left home at 17 to live in a group home because he was not happy living with me anymore.  I was a single mother at 31.  He was close with grandparents and my boyfriend of long standing came and visited after I moved 400 miles away to be closer to family for support.  He was his father but testing proved otherwise and my son could not deal with that.  I completely understand that my choices affected him and a relationship with a "normal" family.  We were what I thought was an intact single parent family and we lived a regular life.  But, he felt he wanted two parents full time, a house and siblings and animals and a couple of vehicles.  He was involved in sports and scouts and whatever.  Everything went South when he came home from school and said "will you help me find my dad, I do not want to live with you anymore".  I told him I would do whatever I could on the internet. I found the boyfriend who I left and he came and moved closer and became his father again after a 10 year absence.  We began a relationship again but "our" son was out of the house by then in the group home.  He left the group home and moved in and out of my brothers house and grandparents started to pass away and then the boyfriend passed away.  Son turned against everyone eventually.  I blame myself for becoming a single parent in the first place.  I never produced an actual father and I think maybe son holds that against me.   In spite of all this I was a good mother.  My son and I were a family with extended family.  I know my story is not complete or in any order.  Suffice it say when my son turned into a teenager he developed a attitude of wanting FREEDOM and PRIVACY.  The group home did not have a reunification aspect to it so that did not help.  However, because he was underage I had to give my permission which I did so that I would know where he was because I was fearful he would run away to who knows where.  I have loved my son still and I miss all those years.  I am looking for support.