so these few months after my miscarriage have been really difficult.  I feel like with every step forward, I take 10 steps backward.  I'm slowly getting over my fear of having another miscarriage, but its not easy.  This whole ordeal has been particularly hard on my relationship with my bf. He just doesnt get how hard its been for me, and although he tries to sympathize, someytime's I think he just thinks I'm this weak pathetic person who is taking this whole thing too hard.  I know he hurt after losing our baby, but it just wasnt he same type of losss fo rhim b/c he really wasnt ready for a baby anfd it wasnt a life inside of him.  I had so many dreams, and somehow after I lost the baby I began to question my whole life, and everything seems so much harder and so out of reach. However, each day i get up and make a concious decisionm to live life and keep faith. even though that might seem like no big deal to many people in my life,but to me its a victory, b/c 3 months ago I just wanted to die, and now I want to live more then ever. I just pray I find the strength to hope agian, and that I will fullfill all my dreams.