I just cant seem to get rid of my anger or my tears. Its like I'll be fine for several days and then all the sudden it hits me. I was going to be someones mother and now I'm not. My boyfreind thinks I'm nuts. He cant understand why this is so hard for me. He keeps saying that it just wasnt meant to be and that I can try again when we are both better prepared. But I dont want to try again. I keep thinking why on earth would anyone want to try again and risk this feeling of uncontrollable anger, sadness, pain and greif. I keep thinking of ways I could have prevented this. Maybe my jeans were too tight or maybe I shouldnt have slept on my stomach. I keep thinking I should be over this by now, but I cant get over it. Eveytime I see a tv show about pregnancy I think that should have been me, I should have been decorating a nursery and picking out baby names. I just want to know when my heart will stop hurting.