what to do? how to live? when does being assertive, proactive, confident, become being an asshole, egoist, self-centered?i know ineed to quit my job. for what reason? what to do? i don't want to remain in the same field. that'll just drive me to drink. it's the most useless, soul draining, mind numbing, goofy waste of time. there is no sense of accomplishment at the end of the day. cooking for other people. weasels. i am tired of the inanity. the complete ineptitude. the grand, all consuming feeling of uselessness at the end of the day. then, with nothing to show for it, getting to do it all over again. ahhh, i hate my job. on a different note, lah. i don't know, things are silly. i'm feeling blah. bored. tired. broke. suffering at the whim of others. purposeless. i guess that's the real bummer. having no direction. no goals. i have basically just the one... two goals. keep my bills paid and stay sober while i do it. is that a life? living? once again, to what end? i enjoy sobriety. to an extent. yet the loneliness, is dull. solitude, more than lonely. i guess it's self imposed. i guess there are things to do. but, i have no money. and i know nobody who doesn't drink. well, i'm tired. going to sleep
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