Well I will start with a little about me and why I am here... ~~About me~~My name is Katherine. I am 41, single now and soon to be divorced, Have 2 children who are on their own: Alyssa(20) and Odin(18). I live on an acreage by Edmonton, Alberta. I have a Rottie (Lorcan) and a ragdoll kitten (Peepers) that I share my life with. I love animals and am looking to add a pitbull and parrot to my group of buddies. I Like gardening, reading, mechanics, scarey movies and music. ~~My Story~~ Well...I am now on my way to diagnosis.I never knew the symptoms of MS until less than a month ago.It wasn’t until something drastic happened to me on the 6th of May that I even consulted anyone…My story as it has happened…I have this little dark voice in my head that keeps making excuses for things. It’s most common excuses are: “You are getting older” “You ain’t no spring chicken” and the like. Some of it not so polite, but you get the jest.So when I first started having leg problems a few years ago, that voice couldn’t help but put its two cents in. I listened. I figured there was nothing that could be done so just live with it. After time both legs were affected. Sometimes it was a chore to do the stairs. The pain comes and goes, part of getting older, joints give- the voice said and I listened, and no need for a doc to tell me I’m getting older. I felt shocks and tingles shoot down the leg, dismissed it as a pinched nerve. So I did Tylenol and tried to cope. Well the last year or so when it came it was almost too much to handle. I have realized the pain is in the whole leg. Crying at night, just can’t get comfortable. It felt like something was crushing the thighbone, like 200lbs sitting on the center of the bone and pushing so hard straining the joint too. I have had to use my hands to physically cross my legs, it was just easier than trying to get them to painfully do it on their own. It has stayed for a while and I started to think I should see someone. But never did.Looking back it has been about the last 6 months a lot has been happening…My eyesight has been going. Things go blurry. I can’t read like I used to. I thought my eyes were just getting tired. They hurt a lot. I blink hard and try to refocus. Usually just give up. I have killer headaches that last for days. Little voice comes in and helps me dismiss it.I have had shakes where I use two hands to drink my coffee and still spill all over me. I get like a twitch and I will drop what I am holding or my hand will flick across the keyboard and hit things I didn’t mean. Trouble getting the key in the door lock so I will steady one hand with the other. I have just attributed it to stress, it has been a nasty divorce and I hardly see my kids. Four years of nasty that followed seventeen years of the marriage I refer to as my ‘experience’. So yeah stress worked as an excuse there.I have been feeling exhausted, I attributed that to stress too. And to depression. I spend days on the couch not leaving except to tend to the pets or grab a piece of toast. When I do try to go out and do something I just feel so weak. It’s a chore to walk into Walmart or IGA to pick up my basic needs. But the legs have been bad for a steady couple of months here…Well on May 5th, Something happened and my tongue just would not listen to what I tried to make it do. That is the best way to describe it I think. My words sound funny. The tongue moves slow and not proper. The next day it was still the same, ’Stroke’ came to my mind. Strange cause I think my only real risk factor is I am a smoker. I called Capital health link. We had talked for a while, she asked a lot of questions, and she mentioned MS.I looked into the symptoms and it seems likely, it sure would explain the legs and shakes and talking problems…I went to the doctor on the 8th of May, she mentioned a possible TIA (mini-stroke) and wanted blood tests, a CT and a neck ultrasound.Had some blood tests lon the 9th.then they booked ultrasound for the 2nd.Then they called saying MRI instead of CTI had my MRI last Saturday...Monday morning the doc called saying they want me in to discuss the MRI. (the ultrasound was no longer needed)Well we all know what that means, they found something...I pretty much knew they would, the more symptoms I find out about the more I see I have but have been ignoring...Way too many things I have ignored, maybe if I would of had a clue that these things lumped together meant something, I would have gone to a doc sooner (I hate doc's-and know it looks like I won't be able to avoid them anymore). I wish I would of know the legs were this and not age. Maybe with treatment I could of got some more use out of them? I am very scared. I don’t know what to expect. I have yet to tell anyone.  (well I did tell my apparent best friend Linda, that it was a possibility, that was back at the start of this. She went into detox to sober up and hasn't asked a thing since, and she knew of all the tests I was to do. I know she is going through her own shit right now, but when we talk I ask her all about how things are with her. So I feel like she doesn't give a crap. It may sound really nasty but I fell I need to cut her from my life when she gets home this week. I supported her while she was on the inside this last month, I did my friend thing.)A lot of things go through my mind. A lot of emotions.I don’t know if the things I have been feeling are what the symptoms are like.I worry about the things to come and I could really use someone to talk to about all of this…  So here I am, trying to find things out and find people to relate too...This is just such a shock for me...  Damn, I have no clue how the MRI talk will go tomorrow. I am so unprepared...