It's been awhile

We had our very first IVF egg retrieval back on June 21st.  Because of my PCOS, I created 51 eggs!  Yes, that's a lot!  After retrieval I went into hyperstimulation and the next week I ended up in the hospital for two days.  I couldn't keep anything down.  I couldn't hardly move the pain in my lower back was so great.  It was not something I want to do again.  Thankfully I have a great husband who was with me every step of the way and literally picked me up when I was down.
We found out that we got 18 blastocysts in the freezer now :)  We're really excited.  Maybe that sounds stupid.  Excited for frozen potential babies.  I worry that they'll never make it into a baby.  Last week when I was so swollen from the hyperstimulation, I cried because I was worried that's the only "bump" i'll ever get to have.  I pray that's not the way it goes.
I started my cycle yesterday so I start taking my estrogen tabs tonight.  I go in for an ultrasound Friday, July 11th to check the lining.  If it looks good, potential egg transfer day is set for July 15th.  
I'm scared.  I'm excited. I'm anxious.  I'm worried.  But I'm also hopeful.  Maybe one thing will go right for us this time.