BROKEN RECORD7:30 AM According to my son he hates it when I repeat myself, but it is now 7:30am and I have been trying to get him up since 7am. I tried something new this moring. Being that my son does not like being told what to do. I tried to make it sound like its his idea getting up. Like I just said hey your uniform is on the dryer rank. Then I called him on his cell (its a heck of a lot easier sometimes then going in his room and having him scream at me) and said basically the samething. I was trying to not say you need to do this you need to do that because it stresses him out. He still is not out of bed yet. If he does not like me to repeat myself then why does he not just do it the first time? I will ask him to pick up his mess he says I will and it never gets done. It wont matter when I ask again if its an hour later, a day later, or a week later. I have mentioned that all this negativity drains any energy I have left. It feels like the life force is being drained right out of me. I use to be a fun energetic person. Before my son I could work 15 hours a day, go out for drinks, and maybe get 4 hours asleep and do it all again. I have been trying to change my thinking I read "The Secret" bought the mediation cd and was listening to it. Yeah I am telling not even a week later after I started the whole process my son's mania went from bad to worse to the point he had to be put in the hospital. So I got out of it. All my spiritial friends would say that it sounds like someone doesnot want me to change because I wll suceed. Again you all know that between my son's illness and the illnesses I have I am weak. I use to be on fire with my faith. Although I believe strongly I have not been on fire in a long time. I allowed God's people to get in the way. I am afraid to go back to church whether it would be my old church or a new one. Being rejected by God's people was worse then being rejected by my family.
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