Well it's been over a month since i have written in my journal......... I keep forgetting how much i enjoy writing! Quick life update for everyone........ ------------>>>>>>  I'm so proud of myself for staying strong and not getting back with alex! he has been begging me to get back with him , and tells me that i'm the love of his life and i can go out and pick out the prettiest most expensive engagement ring and he wants to marry me!!!! BULLSHIT!!! once a cheater always a cheater! many people would probably be sad because they felt like they lost almost 6 years of there life! but i would not take ONE thing back! Don't get me wrong we had some great times together........... i have learned SOOOOOO much in our relationship... regardless of all the hurt and anger i'm thankful for everything that happened. We talk about 2 times a week on the phone just to make sure one another is alive........ ya know we still care for eachother but it will never be more then friends between us. i won't allow it. i'm currently on 100 mg zoloft, anxiety is still bad! need to go to the doc asap and get put on 150. After i was on the 100 for a while i felt INCREDIBLE!!!!  i met a guy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) he actually lives in fort meyers right now. He is actually the son of one my my coworkers who is one of my best friends! we have spent sometime together for past week or so and omg he is amazing! he has the softest eyes..... we just sit there and stare at eachother, and he makes me blush...... i get  a huge smile on my face just thinking about him!!! :)   don't know what's going to happen, trying to live life day to day and with no expectations......... i think that helps calm the anxiety down instead of always wondering "what next"!!! but i really hope everyone is doing well........... if anyone ever needs me PLEASE let me know!! thank you guys for all your support! i can't say it enough