I still can't believe how much it helps to write in a journal..... i hate writing so i guess that best way is to type it out on here :) lol......... well i finally talked to alex after not talking to him for about 2 months...... he is telling me how he loves me and misses me and made the biggest mistake of his life!!! he is moving from miami to tallahasse florida in a month and told me alot of the reason why he is moving there is to be closer to me!!!!!! omg!!!! what the fuck!! after all the shit he put me through he is not giving up!! he is freaking out that i'm not falling for him......... he asked me if i missed him and i said no........ he got soooooooooo upset! and you don;t understand ....... this kid does not show any signs of weakness EVER!! and after 4 months he misses me and tells me i am the love of his life??????????? what the fuck? where was he the 5 years i was inlove with him!! now that all my love and tears has turned into anger and rage what am i suppposed to think???????????????? it's crazy the whole situation!!!!! i knew he was going to regret it!! i knew it all along! i told him before he actually left that i was the BEST THING in his life and he would NEVER find anyone better then me......... guess he wanted to learn the hard way.............. and now he lost me forever (i think)......... talking to him is making me think twice about things and that's NOT good!! because i truely feel in my heart that i am done with him but he talks to me and always has a way of telling me what i want to hear!! he is a good guy.......... or maybe i'm just making excuses!! is it that he is such a commitment phobe that he knew he wanted to be with me for the rest of his life but wanted to do stuff with other girls so that later in life he wouldn't want to cheat on me?? because his father and brother are the same way!! they have sexual issues........ like they will cheat on anyone to get what they want........ i always thought he was different........... he always strived to be different from his brother and father but apparently he fell into the family curse for a while!!!!! once again am i making excuses????
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Hey sweetheart! I know exactly what you\'re going through, i go through the same thing with my sons mother, but you just have to be stronger than temptation. Think about the pain over the pleasure, because no matter how good he makes you feel, the pain always seem to remind you of what u dont want in life. Its not worth it, trust me, i rather smile everyday, than every other day. Its someone out there better for you anyways, trust and believe. Dont fall for it, its all an illusion, take it from a guys point of view, its all a joke, i been there and done that sweetie.
I think you can do better for yourself, you look stunning and seem intelligent dont settle for second best!