Ever since the whole thing with alex happened i feel like i am a whole new person. We were together for 5 1/2 years!!! how can i learn who i truely am with someone attached at the hip for all those years......... I have a solid foundation of who i am just trying to work out the little issues of who i am.......... I have always been known as the dependable and responsible person, even from when i was younger. I am going through a stage now of not pleasing everyone and not doing everything perfect! it feels good not to always have to be perfect. I am still doing things right i am just not being perfect!!! it feels good for once in my life....... Finally learning to just say "fuck it" and have fun in life and not worry about every little aspect of bullshit in my life!! i think that is one of the biggest reasons why i suffer from anxiety i'm always worried about what other people think of me and if it's good enough...... learning to just say screw it i think is helping me........... Trying to meet other people and get in the social swing again....... Alex is still telling me he loves me and misses me and i was the most perfect thing in his life and blah blah blah....... but guess what.......???? i am almost completely over him!!! yeah i think about him sometimes but when i think about all the bullshit he put me through!!!!!!!! OMG NEVER AGAIN!!! sadness has turned to anger so it's easier to deal with........ family life is the same nothin really new with that.......... hope everyone is doing well!!!!!!!!! STAY POSITIVE!! xoxo
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