Well i feel ok today... alot of people in my life had made me realize alot of things about myself.... i'm always down on myself... i always have been... i would LOVE to have a high self esteem,, i think that would help alot of areas in my life! as for the anxiety, still bad i can't wait to go to the doctor next week.. i really need a higher dose of the zoloft i am currently taking... i really feel like anxiety and panic attacks are hereditary..... my grandmother is on zoloft... she just got on it about a year ago and the 50 mg worked wonders for her! she is a new person! and i cannot wait for the day that i find a cure whether it's with medicine, breathing techniques, psychiatry ANYTHING!! it's so hard to explain something like this... its very dipilitating.... i almost feel like a prisoner.... scared to go anywhere... i think i might have a bit of agoraphobia involved in this mess as well!!! because i HATE being in the car!! i can only travel short distances!! and that's the really sad part i haven't seen my best friend since last july!!!!! i'm so sad about that.. we talk often on the phone, but we know that we would NEVER find anyone to replace eachother.. i swear she is my true soul mate i would trust with anything.. she has 2 adorable kids that i absolutely adore!!!!!!!! and her peice of shit husband is living with another women!!! whatever..... but i hope everyone else is doing ok.... i'm really going to try to work on my faith..... praying for myself as well as everyone else... i feel like prayer no matter what you believe it will help you in many situations... one thing i always like to remember is that God won't give you more than you can handle ... and i truely believe that with everything!!! what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!!