Thanksgiving

Well lets just say I got to go to Church guilt free and am beginning to realize that my boyfriend was not a man God sent for me to be with. I did not cry this Thanksgiving and I remember many Thanksgivings that he left me right before over the years always right before the holidays or my birthday. So I guess I got used to it. i also got used to taking him back everytime, so many times! Now I do not feel the same way and I am hoping he doesn't either. Maybe he knows for sure this time that it will  not work. I know one thing he leaves me and goes to live with his x-wife and he always tried to tell me they are just friends now but then if that was always true why did she hate me? If they are not together whey does he go back and forth between us two? I think I was dumb for believing him. This time it was because he brought his grandson and he knew I wasn't feeling well. I had terrible headache, body aches, and the grandson was very sick with a virus and he wants to be with me every second. So after no rest for 2 days and nights and up at night because he was so sick he couldn't breath then I told him I need a break. He took him to home depot to get some stuff but they were back in no time the boy was right back trying to get me to go watch him do this do that etc.... I needed rest and the next day work and I had no housework or laundry done. I started cleaning and laundering and then he finally took the boy home and he came back and went to lay down. I layed down and said "Man you knew I didn't feel well and this was very hard for me and on top of that you didnt even ask me if I wanted to take care of him all weekend I think that was messed up and now I feel so tired and i have to work in the morning" He just yelled at me "WELL THEN GO TO SLEEP AND QUIT TALKING ABOUT IT" NOWS YOUR CHANCE GO TO SLEEP ALREADY!"  I told him but I am trying to talk to you and tell you how I feel and the way you react I really feel like you dont give a shit. "YOU ARE JUST GOING TO GO ON AND ON AND IF YOUR SO TIRED THEN JUST GO TO SLEEP" all caps means he is yelling but he says I am the one who is yelling. I told him I wasn't yelling till you were. Its like this crazy sick cycle of crap that is never going to improve because he wont get help. I go do all the therapy and groups and take meds and he goes one time and quits every time. 
So this Thanksgiving I went to Church, cooked Turkey dinner, ate with my son, had peace and queit, and also had time to think about how I want to live. I think I might get used to this. I know I'll have some bad days but maybe things will get better and better until one day I didn't even waste a thought on him anymore! My son and I have a pact not to talk about him or his crazy family at all. If we slip we remind each other "OK pact" its working out real good. Why is it I get along fine with my son, and the friends I have left? But never could with him? He said its me and I questioned myself a lot. I think its him..... they always make you doubt yourself too. The book on emotional abuse is bringing lots of things to light, thanks to Molly! Ty for that!