The holidays are going surprisingly easy. Thanksgiving wasn't as traumatic as I thought it would be! I brought up my brother at dinner and said "God rest you, Markee" without even breaking down crying, and no one else broke down either. My mom broke down crying today when she was entering snippets of fond memories for a scrapbook that my sister Lori is putting together to commemorate our dear departed brother. My mom says it hits her like a ton of bricks (as it does me), and, when I'm there with her, I cry with her. I'm learning to incorporate the hurt into my life. I just let the tears flow when they need to, and, after about 10 minutes of crying, I always feel better and ready to take on the world again. I tell my mom to not fight the tears but embrace them, and I think she is. I never see my dad cry (maybe he's not the type) but he also had a lot of fond memories of Markee for the journal, and his memories stimulated more of my memories, so I promptly ran home and e-mailed Lori with the latest batch. This journal is probably going to be a multi-volume set, with a new volume to come out every year--all of us have so many wonderful memories of Markee!