Well, I completed what was supposed to be a one-and-a-half-week temp assignment, which turned into a three-weeker, because the agency couldn't find anyone else to fill that job (probably because it was boring--a robot could've done it). But it was good to be "in the trenches" for awhile with people who could care less about my feelings and merely wanted me to do something to help them. Actually, the co-workers were very nice and we got on well, and they gave me kudos for a job well-done. I think I'm gonna look for work that is more in my video/photography/acting field though and is thus more interesting to me. I don't think I wanna occupy 8 hours of my waking day 5 days a week with a mind-numbingly boring job--it's beneath my intelligence and even dignity, and does not utilize my skills and talents. It sinks into my psyche and becomes me, negatively affecting my health and self-esteem. OK, enough bitching, I'm getting out and taking a long bike-ride today...
Replies
i\'m so sorry to hear about the loss of your brother. last year, my father was diagnosed with colon cancer and underwent surgery. things seemed to be going well. however, i recently found out the cancer has spread to his lungs and liver. what makes it worse was that he knew about this several months ago, but didn\'t want to persue treatment at the time because he wanted to be healthy for my wedding....the same wedding that never even happened. i don\'t know how much more loss i can endure right now. life can be so painful. sending you hope.
Thanks, faith. Life certainly throws some curve-balls, doesn\'t it? My family and I have just been stunned by the disappearance of my brother. Nothing\'s the same. My dad and I played golf yesterday like we always do, and it wasn\'t as fun. I really feel as though my brother\'s spirit is hanging around, and is in me. 40 is way too young to be cut down in life, and I wouldn\'t be happy about being cut down so early either, so I sense a bit of anger, sadness and frustration from him, and I share these feelings too. I felt he was hanging around my dad and I yesterday, frustrated that he couldn\'t join us and hit his usual 260-yard drive like he always did. All I could do was talk to the air and acknowledge that I know he\'s pissed at not being here, and that I\'m pissed that he\'s not here either, but there\'s nothing I can do about it, except welcome his spirit into mine, and allow him to live through me. I used to be shy. My brother was the more aggressive one. Now that he\'s passed, I feel his aggression in me, which feels liberating in one sense, and unnerving in another! But I\'m going with it. Thanks so much for the kind and encouraging words. Hang in there yourself! I\'m here for you.