Anxiety
Overwhelmed with anxiety. Moving to Wisconsin from Calif was overwhelming but it is so wonderful to live close to my Mom and StepDad and get away from San Jose City and live out in the country. It's so beautiful but dang I will never get used to this cold weather and the shoveling that's involved and all the heavy clothes that are involved.
The job opportunities out here are pretty slim. It's either restaurant/bar, the Walmart, the Menards, gas stations or hospitals/medical centers. I would love to land my ass in one of the hospitals but I have absolutely no experience and/or education for what they need. I've applied to a college to be a medical coding specialist and it is a 2 year program. Fine, fine, fine. I'll start the summer semester.
I'm just sick to my stomach not working. I've always made sure I was financially secure and this insecurity is just making me sick to my stomach.
I am just drinking water and doing a puzzle and watching tv but not really concentrating on anything but to make a jump to WalMart and get some beer. I know I won't do it,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,I pretty much have already made up my mind that I won't.
I hate being this way. I really, really hate it. I hate myself for it. Since I've been out here I have not connected with AA. Perhaps that's my problem. Losing my sense of well being. Everybody drinks around here. That seems to be all they do. Bars and more bars. That's how people meet. I'll find a church nearby. Like there is such a thing as "nearby" around here.....
I don't know. Now I have a headache. I rarely get headaches.
Hot damn it is so cold today! My floor is cold it is so fricking cold. I got my fargo hat on to help me keep warm. Oh gawd what a freeze baby I am. I don't get how the people out here manage to live to their old ages.
I can't wait to just go to bed with my electric blanket.
The job opportunities out here are pretty slim. It's either restaurant/bar, the Walmart, the Menards, gas stations or hospitals/medical centers. I would love to land my ass in one of the hospitals but I have absolutely no experience and/or education for what they need. I've applied to a college to be a medical coding specialist and it is a 2 year program. Fine, fine, fine. I'll start the summer semester.
I'm just sick to my stomach not working. I've always made sure I was financially secure and this insecurity is just making me sick to my stomach.
I am just drinking water and doing a puzzle and watching tv but not really concentrating on anything but to make a jump to WalMart and get some beer. I know I won't do it,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,I pretty much have already made up my mind that I won't.
I hate being this way. I really, really hate it. I hate myself for it. Since I've been out here I have not connected with AA. Perhaps that's my problem. Losing my sense of well being. Everybody drinks around here. That seems to be all they do. Bars and more bars. That's how people meet. I'll find a church nearby. Like there is such a thing as "nearby" around here.....
I don't know. Now I have a headache. I rarely get headaches.
Hot damn it is so cold today! My floor is cold it is so fricking cold. I got my fargo hat on to help me keep warm. Oh gawd what a freeze baby I am. I don't get how the people out here manage to live to their old ages.
I can't wait to just go to bed with my electric blanket.
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