Well, my mom got a call this A.M., telling her that her remaining family member (her older brother), my Uncle Jack, passed away this morning...
He went in for knee replacement surgery three days, ago, and was recovering. Seems they went in to check his vitals around 7:00, and he was fine; then came back later to check in on him, and he was dead. No one is sure what happened; we suspect a blood clot. He had a stroke back in the early 70's, after his first wife died...maybe that had something to do w/it, too.
Thing is, there was a lot of "bad blood" between my mom's sister (she passed in Feb., very horribly) and brother, against my mom...something to do w/a lot of "bad talk"...we never found out, exactly, what was said against her, or how that came about, since my mom hasn't lived in Tucson since '67 & we rarely had the big $ to fly down there to visit, very often...whatever it was, it still seems to be lingering; when my cousin called my mom to tell her what had happened, she was rude as hell to her; that's the 2nd time in less than a month that a "survivor" was rude to my mom...like, it was all her fault. Some Mother's Day! Talk about adding insult to injury. Damn!
The sad thing for me is that my uncle and my mom had been mending fences between them, for the last 16 mo. My uncle had even apologized, very sincerely, for his coldness towards my mom, in the past...they were exchanging old letters/photos/mementos...it meant so much to my mom, since her marriage has been making her feel so cut off from everything, these last 12 years...
I heard the phone ring this morning, but w/everything that has been going on, here, I fell asleep, again, before I could answer it; guess Mom was already up...her pain's been really bad, so she doesn't sleep for very long...the stress of things, too, has her broken out in terrible facial hives...she looks like she has 2nd degree burns on her cheekbones...anway, I can't remember what I dreamt about when I went back to sleep, but Tears For Fears "Mad World" kept playing in my mind...I sensed this thread that something had changed...people rarely call us, at all, here, that early in the morning, but it still didn't prepare me for this...
Can't get that song out of my head...I never did like Tears For Fears, and now I can't get rid of that damned tune...
He went in for knee replacement surgery three days, ago, and was recovering. Seems they went in to check his vitals around 7:00, and he was fine; then came back later to check in on him, and he was dead. No one is sure what happened; we suspect a blood clot. He had a stroke back in the early 70's, after his first wife died...maybe that had something to do w/it, too.
Thing is, there was a lot of "bad blood" between my mom's sister (she passed in Feb., very horribly) and brother, against my mom...something to do w/a lot of "bad talk"...we never found out, exactly, what was said against her, or how that came about, since my mom hasn't lived in Tucson since '67 & we rarely had the big $ to fly down there to visit, very often...whatever it was, it still seems to be lingering; when my cousin called my mom to tell her what had happened, she was rude as hell to her; that's the 2nd time in less than a month that a "survivor" was rude to my mom...like, it was all her fault. Some Mother's Day! Talk about adding insult to injury. Damn!
The sad thing for me is that my uncle and my mom had been mending fences between them, for the last 16 mo. My uncle had even apologized, very sincerely, for his coldness towards my mom, in the past...they were exchanging old letters/photos/mementos...it meant so much to my mom, since her marriage has been making her feel so cut off from everything, these last 12 years...
I heard the phone ring this morning, but w/everything that has been going on, here, I fell asleep, again, before I could answer it; guess Mom was already up...her pain's been really bad, so she doesn't sleep for very long...the stress of things, too, has her broken out in terrible facial hives...she looks like she has 2nd degree burns on her cheekbones...anway, I can't remember what I dreamt about when I went back to sleep, but Tears For Fears "Mad World" kept playing in my mind...I sensed this thread that something had changed...people rarely call us, at all, here, that early in the morning, but it still didn't prepare me for this...
Can't get that song out of my head...I never did like Tears For Fears, and now I can't get rid of that damned tune...
Replies
THATS ASHAME HOW THEY ARE TREATING YOUR MOM, BOY DO THEY NEED TO LEARN RESPECT AND WHAT EVER HAPPENED IN THE PAST IS NO ONE BUSINESS BUT YOUR MOMS AND WHO EVER ELSE WAS ENVOLVED.TELL YOU MOM TO FORGET ABOUT HOW SHE WAS TREATED AND TRY TO BRUSH IT OFF, THEY ARE IGNORANT AND YOUR MOM SHOULD NOT EVEN SPEAK TO ANYONE WHO HURTS HER IN ANYWAY SHE DOES NOT DESERVE IT! ALSO YOU KEEP YOUR HEAD UP AND WATCH OUT FOR YOUR MOMS HIVES THATS A SIGN OF BAD NERVES AND MAY WANT THAT CHECKED SO THAT SHE CAN GET SOMETHING TO CALM HER DOWN.I WISH I WAS THERE TO HELP ALL OF YOU OUT AND I KNOW WE WOULD ALL GET ALONG SO WELL.BECAUSE I USUALLY GET ALONG WITH EVERYONE.I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST AND TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOUR MOM. BY THE WAY I HOPE YOU HAD A GOOD MOTHERS DAY AND I HOPE YOUR MOM HAD A GOOD MOTHERS DAY TOO!!!
YOUR FRIEND CATHY
I FORGOT TO TELL YOU THAT I AM SORRY ABOUT YOUR LOSS AND THAT I HOPE YOUR MOM IS DOING WELL WITH ALL THAT SHE IS GOING THRU. AND THAT THE REST OF YOUR FAMILY IS DOING WELL AND OF COURSE I HOPE YOUR DOING WELL TOO.
CATHY
TAKE CARE, CATHY
Cathy, thank you, so much! Mom has a dermatology appt. on Thursday...I\'m hoping that they can offer something that really helps.
Mom\'s been so wistful, since hearing the news about her brother...I\'ve never seen her looking so frail...I just feel so badly for her.